Saturday, January 19, 2013
"Women are either goddesses or doormats" Pablo Picasso
I read this quote last night while finishing up "The Women Who Raised Me" by Victoria Rowell and boy did that passage make me feel uneasy as the TRUTH of it sunk in. The author writes of the time when she was both a goddess and a doormat while dating jazz great New Orleans' own Wynton Marsalis. Some of the rules in their secretive relationship were no pictures and if on the rare chance they were in public together no displays of affection. I must've stared at that passage for at least three minutes. I mean, what beautiful successful woman would tolerate such demands just to "maintain any semblance of a relationship."
Before I get any deeper let me clarify that this book is NOT about her relationships with men but about the wonderful women who raised her as a foster child. There are plenty of gems in this book pertaining to friendships, mother -daughter relationships etc. but she did include small passages (very small) about both of her children's father's.
Now back to the goddess/doormat thing. This really resonated with me because I've been there (and most likely so have you). I'd like to think of myself as operating in my goddess-esque-ness 24/7 but the reality is I've been a shameful doormat at times. I think back to my freshman year of college and the smooth, suave brother who dated me and half of the freshman class at the same damn time. I knew he was a low down dirty shame but thought somehow he'd realize how great I was and change his philandering ways....NOT! I've accepted behavior that does NOT align with my personal standards, morals and self-worth during times of vulnerability and pain so I let that quote sink in realizing that men are fully aware of the power we possess to be a goddess or that pitiful state of being a doormat. We actually decide how they'll treat us simply by accepting or walking away from bad behavior.
I've decided to intentionally possess the GODDESS within me and not let her slip away during difficult times. How about you?
P.S. I found this book in excellent condition, hardcover, at the thrift store for $.99 !!